I
have a friend who says things. I love it when she says things.
Sometimes I have no idea what's going on inside her head, but
there are moments she can be unwittingly profound. There is one
in particular I remember. It was a perfect, carefree October
day - joking and laughing with childlike abandon.
"I
wish I could be like this in my other life," she said.
While
it might sound silly (and was probably meant to be), what I think she
meant was that we wish that feeling of lightness, the lack of worry,
the pure, untainted happiness could carry over into all areas of our
lives, especially the ones where we spend much of our time weighed
down, stressed out, or ticked off. And like I do, I took this
and ran with it. It got me thinking about life, and
happiness, and the concept of time and how we choose to use it.
I do spend an absurd amount of time thinking about how short
life is and defining what's important. And it was just when I
was thinking about time, and fate, and "other lives," and
following dreams, that it hit me: I do an awful lot of thinking.
Less
thinking, more doing,
my brain told me. After
all, life is
short.
I've
been dreaming for a long time of going out to see the world, and
to learn about other people and places through personal experience,
as whimsical as that may be. It's been this way for quite a
while. Anyone who's ever spent more than five minutes with me
knows I have a travel bug, a bad one, for which there seems to be
only one possible cure. And thus far, I've confined treatment
to these short, hurried trips, cramming every bit of adventure,
exposure, education into even the last seconds, such that I've
scheduled return flights which leave me just enough time to get back
from the airport before my Monday morning shift. I haven't
yet done more to quell the symptoms out of fear, or
responsibility, or expectation. Mainly fear. But you
don't make dreams come true without facing some fears and taking some
risks. So here we go. I'm taking my first baby steps down
"a road less traveled by," which at best, will be a
course in personal growth, with an emphasis on independence,
flexibility, negotiation, planning, boldness, self-sufficiency,
patience, improvisation. Plus some crazy fun times. :P
At worst...well, I did say I was thinking too much, didn't I?
It's worth noting, I have no problem with my life. I have
a great job, people who care about me, and I live in what I deem to
be one of the best places on Earth. And I'm well aware that
this choice is one that may make my life more difficult,
not less.
But
maybe that's what it's about. About going after the challenges
that will define you. And about trusting your instincts. It's
about choosing to turn your "other life" into the life you
want to live. It's about living in such a way that you can look
back and be proud of the choices you made, wherever they may have
lead, and having no regrets because at least you know you tried.
It's about time, and knowing you spent it in pursuit of
something worthwhile to
you.
This
is the story of what happens when I let go of the fear and jump.
The
good. The bad. All of it.
